This thing called 'Affection'

Middle Sister Confession #2
I suck at this thing called affection.
Growing up I use to watch Full House and pretend Bob Saget was my dad or that the Brady Bunch was my family. Affection always looked easy and alot of fun. I loved how at the end of the show the family hugs it out and you just get this warm and fuzzy feeling that you are loved. Sigh….
And then I remember we are not the Brady Bunch. Not even close.
My family and I don't 'hug it out' like the Brady Bunch. Nor do we sit and talk about our feelings.
I didn't realize that that could be an issue or it was 'strange' until I started having my own relationships with people who are a butterball of affection with a hug for everything and continuous affirmations of I love you’s, I miss you’s, and I feel’s about a dozen times a day...goodness gracious. Is that what I've been missing out on?? It’s exhausting for someone like me who's never had to do it.
Growing up my sisters and I just knew we were loved despite our lack of affirmations being declared everyday at every hour from our mother. But it is interesting to realize that now as adults I might be the only one of the three of us who is affection handicapped from this lack of growing up.
Watching BS with her husband and family she seems unaffected by our upbringing. Words of affection like babe, honey and I Love You’s pour out of her like a hot cup of coffee, like she’s heard it all her life...it makes me wonder, has she?? Did I really get jipped? ( My mother does play favorites with the three of us…)
And as for LS, although she is still young I can already see that she has no problems with affections. According to FB she is very comfortable being touchy feely and even giving her girl-friends smooches on the cheek. Not this Middle Sister. Nuh Uhh.
But I wish I was a butter ball of affection. I wish I could blurt out words like Babe, honey and I Love You’s to my special Beings too and give smooches on the cheeck to my girl-friends too..maybe. But I am affectionately constipated. It’s there inside me. I feel it. I want to say it. I want to hug it out but I cant. It comes out awkward. Or just never comes out at all. If only there was a laxative I can take for my affections to come out more smoothly. I sometimes worry that the people I love and care about will never know how much I really do because I am so affectionate handicap. I can cut you paper hearts and make pretty things that says I love you and I can write it in a card but I cant say it. So until they create some sort of affection laxative I am going to write it in a letter.

Love,
Middle Sister