Oh, Hello...

So in my time here in Austin I’ve seen sunshine, I’ve not seen rain but I did see a certain man riding a bike in a thong. He just breezed by on his bike like any ordinary day, his wrinkly petite buns out for the world to see basically saying “kiss my A**”.
And a couple of months later Z swears he spotted the same man in a thong running at the park. Now that to me is too much freedom of speech. I don’t believe an ass should need to see that much sunshine. An a** should not be seen or heard in public, just admired, felt or grazed from time to time.
A man riding a bike in a thong is something that I would see when I lived in San Francisco so it was a sweet irony that I saw that here it Austin. I never expected sweet ole' Austin to have men in thongs running around too so its almost as if San Francisco is saying “hey Middle Sister, we miss you..” Yep, seeing a wrinkled a** in a thong breezing by will do that to me, another proof that my love affair with San Francisco will never die. And for the man in the thong, I personally would never have the balls to do that but apparently he does (no pun intended of course). Kudos to him. He sure made my day a little more interesting.

Eat, Sweat, Austin

So…here I am in Austin. I’ve been here for two weeks now and I think I am finally acclimating to the heat. The first week and half was brutal. Z’s air conditioning in his car decided to quit in August, the middle of summer! It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if it wasnt 106 degrees outside and if I didn’t sweat so much. In the first 10 minutes of being outside I am drenched in sweat and that is NOT an exaggeration. As dry as pie, Z would look over at my sweaty self and kindly ask if anyone else in my family sweats this much. Perhaps it’s a disorder? Uh, no. Just me. No one else sweats like I do in my family. Even my sisters look at me like I must be from another mother. I wonder too sometimes as I sit here in Austin melting away. The days are too hot to simply take a stroll. I look out the window and see people biking and running in this heat and wonder…ARE THEY CRAZY?
Apparently I must look like the crazy one. By the time we reach our destination I am soaked from my own perspiration. It looks like I just completed a marathon when actually we drove to dinner. Windows down, hot air blowing in our faces Z and I look at each other and just smile. Happy thoughts. Grateful thoughts. COLD thoughts pretending that it doesn’t matter that the air conditioning doesn’t work. We are better than that….yeah…
But I’m happy that I’m here. Minus the Texas heat Austin is an awesome city. The people are very friendly. I love that there is a strong artistic community that is active in supporting local artists and I love how genuinely eco conscious everyone is here without taking it to the next level of pretentiousness. The food is to die for especially the BBQ ribs at The Salt Lick. It has quickly become our favorite spot in the Hill Country of Austin.
For two weeks I am left to fend my own entertainment as Z heads back to work. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself but one thing for sure is air conditioning is a must.

AIRPORT

My Chinese Sausage was almost confiscated by airport security. I was pulled aside by a man in uniform and asked to search my bag. With a gloved hand the man shuffled through my carry on bag yet found nothing. Confused, he returned it back to the tech guy in charge of the x-ray machine. A red flag went up again yet the gloved man couldn’t figure out what it could be. Then finally after re-examining the video he found it.

“Ah Ha! Here is the problem!” and he raises my pack of Chinese Sausage in the air.

“What?! My Sausage?? Are you really going to take my Sausage?”

My heart just stopped. My trip to Austin was a long awaited one that has been booked and rebooked. I’ve packed and repacked my life into one suitcase and a carry on bag. Its not easy trying to simplify your life into one suitcase so when you finally do decide what goes with you and what stays there is a possessiveness that overcomes you when someone threatens to take it away like stealing a baby from its mother.

UH UH, DO NOT MESS WITH MY SAUSAGE. Everything in my bag was carefully chosen. The sausage is a staple in my culture. If you ever leave home for more than a couple of days, you always pack one in your bag as a just in case. A just in case there isn’t a China town near by or a just in case you are starving and there is nothing to eat (cause that’s gonna happen in Austin), or a just in case you’re just simply home sick. The sweet and saltyness of the Chinese sausage with some steamed white rice will always do the trick. Anyways back to gloved man who has my Sausage in his hand holding it hostage. Seeing the fear in my face he said he won't take my Sausage but he did see something he has to confiscate: my Bath and Body Works Hawaii scented lotion. Now that was also ridiculous because it was only half full so it should have met the minimum liquid requirement for a carry on but most importantly, how can anything with the title “Hawaii” be a threat?? Alohhhaa!

Whatever, I didn’t want to argue. I just got my sausage back. Which right now was a bigger relief. You just can't go far without your emergency sausage stash. My mom would be very concerned. So good-bye Hawaii lotion, I’m sorry you have to stay behind. I will just have to pick up another bottle in Austin. I’m sure those men are lathering it up back there in the break room right now.